Word

I am developing an irrational hatred for the phrase "at the end of the day." Maybe I just hear it too often lately, mainly from reality show bottom feeders. I hope that's all it is, and not something more insidious, like that my editing brain has now crept into my real life and is mentally rewriting what people say. "That's a cliche. Find a new way to say it."

My editing brain ruins many, many books for me now. That's bad. Good in the sense that I love the good books even better, but bad in the sense that I'm less patient with books than I used to be. But anyway, editing brain, you are hereby ordered to leave Real Life alone.

And now back to words/phrases people hate. I've bumped into a survey in a couple of different places that says the word Americans hate most is: MOIST.

MOIST! MOIST! MOIST!

Raise your hand if you cringed.

I didn't. That word doesn't bother me. It bounced off of me like I was a MOIST-deflecting Superman. Or something.

I can't think of a specific word I hate. But I can think of lots of words that I hate hearing pronounced the wrong way, and by wrong way I mean not how *I* say it. For example, there is no Z in resource. So why is suddenly everyone saying it like there is? If you are one of these people, are you Canadian? Is this why this is happening?

Anyway, back to the editing brain and the sound of words: last night I was reading a novel (self-published, sadly) that was making me angry. It contained this fraction from a sentence: "treated with careful care by Carol." I think it was not on purpose. And so when I read that aloud to my husband, he gently took the book from me, held it up and looked at the cover, and then calmly punched it.

I love him.

White Noise

It's a flood, man. The constant barrage of tweets and FB updates: buy my book, it's awesome, blah blah blah.

I try to follow back anyone on Twitter who follows me unless they're obviously a spammer. But sometimes the spamming is subtle. For example, there's one fairly successful YA writer who ONLY retweets nice stuff people say about her books. After a month of her in my feed, I've learned nothing about her as a person. Not a thing. So I unfollowed her.

And when random writers add me on Facebook, if their first three updates are nothing but marketing ploys, then I immediately hide them.

I get really tired of the Twitter folks who use it is as nothing but a marketing tool. IT WON'T WORK LIKE THAT, DUMMY.

And yet I think Twitter and even Facebook can be incredibly effective for marketing. For example, there are authors whose books I've bought that I wouldn't have otherwise picked up because I've followed them on Twitter for a while and I have a feeling that I'll enjoy their writing voice. I have never once bought a book from someone who tweets nothing but stuff about their own books or about someone else's self-pubbed book because they think the favor will be returned. It all comes off as a smokescreen to me.

And then there's the in-between, the writers who tweet about nothing but writing. I like to talk shop, too. But I need more than that connection point to really click with someone, even at a social media level. So the ones who wear me out with nothing but boring writing updates . . . unfollowed or hidden.

I think I react this way because I'm a classic extrovert, meaning I recharge by interacting with other people. People who don't offer real connection points . . . they just want something from me. In the circles I run in, they mainly want me to buy their book. In real life if you had a friend who always needed something from you without offering anything in return, that would be a toxic friend and ultimately, you'd probably let that friendship wither.

So that's what I do with social media relationships. The ones that don't offer some insight beyond the billboard of a writer's projects, I let those fade.

And amazingly, as many of those as I've let fall by the wayside, I still find some really fun connections.

Maybe that's why blogging is still my favorite thing. It forces more real reciprocity than "like" and "retweet" buttons do.

Melanie Jacobson is ruining my life.

Melanie Jacobson is getting on my last nerve.

SHE'S RUINING EVERYTHING.

Or at least, she's ruining dot com for me.

Some time, long ago, before I was even Melanie Jacobson, she went and registered MelanieJacobson.com for herself. And you know what she does with it?

NOTHING.

I want it. I want DOT COM. I have dot net. Whatever. It's fine.

And as my husband points out every time I whine about this (and it comes up more than it should), I am WINNING GOOGLE. I, me, myself, moi, get the top seven search returns.

So that's something.

A big something, even.

But I tried to buy this melaniejacobson.com from her, this domain that she's not even using, and she was open to sell, but not for as much as I was offering. Which was only enough to buy a nice pair of shoes. I think she was thinking more along the lines of mortgage payment money. But I am simply not worth that much.

But still! She could have had new shoes and I could have my domain all to myself. She already has the good gmail address. And the good Twitter handle.

Although I got to the Melanie Jacobson Facebook domain first.

Oh, and did I mention I'm winning Google?

Because I TOTALLY AM.

Take that, Melanie Jacobson. TAKE THAT.

(And I dearly, dearly hope she has a Google Alert for our name. Nothing could make me happier right this second.)